I want to talk to you about something I suffered with for years---anger and rage.  I tried to hide it the best I knew how.  I would push it deep down inside of me, but eventually I would blow up.  Those I loved the most, who happened to be in my path when these explosions happened, incurred the brunt of my ensuing wrath.  I was always blaming and pointing the finger at someone else.  The sources of my anger were demonic and genetic to be sure, but some of it came up and out of me as a reaction to not being able to get my way when I wanted it. 

During the years of my episodic anger and rage, no one could get through to me and I wasn’t around anyone who could explain to me why I had such volatility inside of me.  I truly believed others (anyone but me) caused me to behave the way I did.  I thought, “If they will just do what I want them to do,” then I will be happy and won’t have to yell and fuss so much.  But, the problem was that even when others would do what I wanted them to do, I still would find myself unhappy and then get very angry about it.

It did not matter how big the home was I lived in, how many pairs of shoes I bought, or how many pieces of nice jewelry I obtained, I still wasn’t happy.  The fury I felt would build up within me and eventually would reach such a boiling point that I would lash out at anyone in my path (even my daughter).  I was not “satisfied” until I had upset everyone around me and then afterward, great remorse would flow over me and I would hate myself for upsetting everyone else.  It was as if two different people lived inside of me…. 

I made a decision to check myself into the hospital for shock treatments.  The Psychiatrist I had been seeing for years had suggested this, I fought it as long as I could, but I was eventually able to see the writing on the wall and consented.  My feelings of caring what others might think and say were no longer a concern.  No matter how appealing the circumstances looked around me or how nice others were to me, I was a miserable individual who was unhappy and angry at life.  I couldn’t pretend any longer and I needed drastic help. 

I called on the person who had gotten me through one of the toughest times in my life.  He had assured me when I first had gone to him that I wasn’t going crazy, even though I thought I was losing my mind.  I had endured years of hell, taking medications in an attempt to find a cure for my anger filled life.  I was trying to find happiness.  I knew it was something attainable because I was around others in my life who were happy (my ex-husband for example), but I was losing the battle and I needed something more.  I had hit rock bottom or so I thought at the time.  

The last resort I felt I had in order to cure me of my miserable life was shock treatments.  It was during my stay in the hospital that I began my walk with the Lord.  Something changed with me after having treatments, making me want to help myself and I stopped blaming everyone else for my anger and unhappiness.  I started to look to God and myself for the answers, which was a new concept for me.  The anger in my life subsided greatly. 

When I went into the hospital, I thought I would have the treatments, the hell would be shocked out of me, and my life would finally match emotionally the life I had around me.  That is not what came to pass.  There is an old saying, “ don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”  I had always dreamed of the way I wanted my life to be and when it didn’t match up with what I wanted, I would get angry.  What shock treatments did for me was help me look at myself and I was able to lay hold of the truth of life.  Twenty years later my life still isn’t what I thought it was going to be but it is happy and I am not filled with anger, thanks to the Holy Spirit and the ways of God.  I had to learn another way of life and some of it was simple, some of it wasn’t. 

Emotionally, I am happy now inside and have true joy but it only came with great perseverance in searching and seeking after the one and true God.  I made sacrifices to have what I like to call “the more” of God.  I have no regrets with what it took to obtain “the more” and I am glad I never quit my pursuit of God.  He helped teach me His ways and I learned about the “me” I was created to be.  I learned not to buckle under the peer pressure of trying to be someone others thought I should be.  I had to learn to love myself and that has been a full time job. 

Hindsight is 20/20.  Looking back, I see that if I had not had those shock treatments, I would never have turned to God.  The greatest cumulative effect of my decision of seeking God was being taught by Christ how to love-not only myself, but others.  He literally delivered me from anger by emptying me and then filling me with great love, which removed all the anger and rage that use to fill me. It is truly a miracle. There are times when I really don't like things around me or the way others behave but I don't lash out anymore.  I just go to the only ONE who can give me divine guidance into why I am feeling the way I do.  I don't fuss at others or get mad.  Every once in a great while I will show my disappointment in regard to something but for the most part,(95%), I don't even feel that emotion any more and that is a very big deal for me. 

Anger and rage come from within….period.  When you point your finger at someone else, grab hold of it and point the finger at yourself.  Whether you like it or not, the reason for the situation you have found yourself in is not “their” fault, it is yours.  To be certain, you have an adversary, so be wise.  Sometimes Satan will orchestrate circumstances, getting you to lash out about things just to make you look like a fool.  Do not think you are above being used by him.   

If you don’t like the way your life circumstances are going, do not grumble about not being able to find help in these things.  You are just the one the Holy Spirit can help but you have to ask Him for help.  Don’t “poo poo” and brush off what I am saying to you.  If change is what you are looking for, do something about it.  YOU are the problem and others are not going to change to suit you.  You are the only one responsible for turning your life around so get up off it.

Molly

Bigotry is a sore subject with me.  I hate it.  I hate people who call others names.  I hate others who say they walk with Christ and think they are better than the next person.  We are all familiar with the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me.”  Words are like bullets when hurled at an individual and can actually end up doing more harm than if they were really being hit with a bullet.  At least the bullet has a beginning and an end, but words can hang in the air, in a heart, in a nation forever, for good or for bad.

Bigotry, I have come to learn over time, is not just a matter of hating one another because of the color of someone’s skin.  Bigotry is more than a black or white issue.  Bigotry is so much more than the color of the face of a man or a woman; it lies deep within the spirit.  Whether you know it or not, it comes from hell and Satan.

The Lord has allowed me to hear (among many other things) bigotry spill forth from a human’s heart.  At first glance, it can be hidden pretty well but upon a closer look, it will always come out because it is evil and doesn’t know when to be quiet.  Now, to be certain, some just come right on out and tell you how they feel regarding bigotry.  They will say, “It’s a free country and you can’t stop me from stating my point of view on any matter.”  To be sure, we do live in a free nation (so far) and are able to express ourselves.  However, our freedom of expression, while certainly a privilege, is abused by many to carry out prejudices against others.  This abuse demonstrates lack of tolerance that stems from feelings that are hidden deep within.  The lack of tolerance and hatred some have toward others is “inherited.”  We learn much of our behavior from those we are around and from things we have grown up with as well.  We learn by example, sometimes not understanding the root basis of why we feel the way we do.  Many times people act out of pure ignorance, not out of personal knowledge about something or someone.

I have been around some “Christians” who allow their true colors to show and I am able to see what exactly is in their hearts.  They have made statements about the black and white issue by saying they would not live beside someone who was not of their own race.  And, “as long as they keep to themselves”…that’s a favorite of mine and it makes my blood boil.  There have been times that if the Holy Spirit hadn’t restrained me, I would have probably strangled an individual for some of the comments they have made.

Understand this:  WE ALL are made in the image of God but Satan is here and is gaining strength to make certain that his time is thoroughly used to full advantage by separating us from one another.  He already knows that if we would come together as one, there wouldn’t be anything we couldn’t do as a nation.  So far, he’s winning.

Ultimately, the choice has to be up to us.  God has given us instructions on how to live a full, purposed, meaningful life, but we have to learn that we have to do this God’s way, not our own.  Most take Christ and sprinkle Him on their life instead of eating the flesh and blood of the only one who can help us all. 

WE close our eyes to injustice thinking of “me and mine,” when this nation really is going to hell in a handbasket.  It is so out of control now that many, being overwhelmed, feel that their one voice won’t change anything, but I can tell you that I will die trying to make as much of this earth I can a better place when I’m gone.  Christ is the SAVIOR and He can help us.  As a matter of fact, He is the only one who can help me and you overcome feelings of prejudice but alas, you have to turn to Him (someone you can’t see) for help.  He is willing, are you? 

I want to leave you with this.  God is the only JUDGE we have.  Unless God ordains an individual to deliver HIS word, then we have to take our hate and concerns to Him and let HIM help deliver us and bring judgment. 

I have seen hate and bigotry destroy people.  We herald Abraham Lincoln as one of the greatest, honest Presidents we have ever had.  Will we let all of his fighting for rights for slaves go down the drain?  Will we allow Martin Luther King’s life to be in vain?  WE are a sorry lot of people when we start placing others in classes and judging them for their lot in life.  Woe be unto us. 

When you experience feelings of bigotry, no matter what it concerns, know that it is coming from the devil and you need to go to God and repent.  Love covers a multitude of sins….Love as you have been loved and give as you have been given to.

And one more thing…..if you dog and curse an individual while calling yourself a Christian, are you certain God is listening to your prayers?

It is not the color of a man that is evil; it is the spirit within him.

                                                                                       Molly

I want to talk about a five-letter word…  Pride.  There are many who believe that pride is arrogance but I have come to see that it is so much more.  Pride is disobedience in doing something that you KNOW is wrong.  Pride can be vengeful.  Pride can do no wrong.  Pride is always right no matter how much truth is placed before it.  Pride won’t listen and gets angry when the truth is presented.  Pride.  Whether you want to come to terms with this or not, pride destroys a man, a home, a nation and pride cost Satan his place in heaven because he believed he “was all that.”

Pride stems from lack of self-worth.  It is just plain “lack of” inside a person.  Remember that it is what is in a man’s heart that is hell-bent on destruction.  It is what comes out of a man that defiles him…I should know; I was full of pride and didn’t even know.  In my heart, I thought that I knew God but I didn’t.  I thought I was trying to make good decisions but I wasn’t.  I believed that I was a good person and somehow I could turn my mess of a life around by myself…  I was prideful and didn’t even know it and there are many out there who are like I use to be. 

Pride will tell you that you can do it alone and you don’t need a Savior.  Pride tells you that turning to Jesus Christ for help is silly and only for weak people.  Pride says, “I am a self-made man.”  Pride… what foolishness.

Pride has to be in control all of the time.  It is like an intoxicating drug that coats you with self-importance, telling you, “You know you are the only one who can_____.” (Fill in the blank for yourself.)  

There either comes a time when you admit you can’t function alone or you keep striving after what I call “the wind,” letting life just blow you around wherever it chooses and you never really grasp life.  The sad part is that you only get one life to live and then eternity faces you. 

I recall moving to North Carolina and it was made abundantly clear to me that I needed to go get a job.  I felt I had a call of God on my life but I didn’t really know the ways of God.  I thought by moving here and simply going to church and giving my testimony that this would cause all the doors to be opened and God would make a way for me but He didn’t.  So I was faced with having to work.  I ended up working at Food Lion. 

I would go to work and stand all day.  I was humiliated but my back was against the wall and I knew I had no choice.  I had no transportation and had to borrow a family member’s car to get to work.  I would take my fifteen-minute break in the car, go drag on a cig with a cup of coffee, and then head back in to finish my shift.  Some people whose nails I had done would come in and for them to see me working there thoroughly embarrassed me.  I thought I was better than this and wondered how I had gotten to this place in life.  I was standing at my checkout counter one day and it was as if the Holy Spirit himself punched me on the shoulder asking, “How do like working at Food Lion?” I sheepishly looked up to heaven and answered, “I don’t like it.”  Then He said, “You’ve always had a very blessed life with everything given to you, haven’t you?”  My reply was, “Yes.”  He continued, “And you have taken it all for granted, haven’t you?”  Then I knew…dumb me.  As I drove home that night to ice down my back from standing all day, I knew I was being called on the carpet by heaven due to my pride.

I had believed I was too good to work for Food Lion as a checkout clerk.  Then over the next several months, it was made abundantly clear that working there was good, honest work.  I learned that there are good, hard working people who are not, and never will be, CEO’S of companies, but it didn’t make them any less in God’s eyes.

I learned what it meant to hold my head up high and not be ashamed of what I did, no matter who saw me (and there always seemed to be someone standing in my line that I didn’t want to see me working there).  At least I was working, earning enough money to help support my basic needs.

I learned to treat others as I wanted to be treated.  The Lord was breaking my pride and I didn’t like it.  Then one day as I had finished ringing up a customer, I bent down and said, “Jesus, save me.”  The next person in line asked me if I was getting 40 hours a week and I said, “No.”  I ended up working for his mother after she hired me right on the spot.

While at Food Lion, I learned to work as if working directly for Jesus.  I did my best.  I wiped, straightened, smiled, and gave excellent customer service.  When I resigned, I gave a two-week notice.  My work ethic and honesty did not go unnoticed by my employer and I had an open invitation to come back again if I ever needed to.  The manager’s offer to me upon my resignation was a clear indication to me that God was pleased.  But, it wasn’t a prideful thing; it was a “job well done” kind of a feeling.  He has given me many more since then and I strive for those times that I know He is happy with my performance.

A lesson learned was that the pride of thinking I was too good to work at Food Lion could have led me down a path of destruction if pride had not been unveiled to me for what it really was. 

In conclusion, I have been broken purposefully by God for His purposes alone, all of which are yet to be revealed.  Know that no one is above working.  The Bible teaches that if a man doesn’t work, he won’t eat.  God will help you get a job if you are willing to work.  There is a basic in the kingdom: God helps those who help themselves.

I can tell you, being on this side of the tunnel, that thank God Jesus had enough compassion for me that He took the time to break me of my pride.  I am not better than anyone else is.  I needed Him then and still do so very much.  Knowing Him better now, I really wished I could have gone through the earlier days of my life walking with Him rather than fighting Him the way I did.  I will always have regret over that…until I go home. 

Do yourself a favor in this one life you get to have….turn to Jesus and let Him help you.  Many I am around suffer from such great pride but they wouldn’t admit to having any. However, they sure would tell you what they have materialistically, the awards they have received and how life is all about them. I know because at one time, I was that way too.  Thank God, however, I have changed.

Pride..is it telling you that you are too good for Jesus or that you don’t need Him?  Does pride tell you you don’t have to work hard?  What will you do when you HAVE to kneel before Him and tell Him to His face?

Molly        

I have been a very jealous human being in my life.  I wanted all the attention I could get.  It has literally taken years to undo my heart and build it right for God.

Jealousy…it comes in many forms.  People can be jealous over anything and

anyone.  It can cause humans to covert things others have.  Where does this emotion stem from? 

There is a lack inside our heart and God puts it there.  When we are born, we are born into sin whether we think so or not.  Nothing like a cute, cuddly baby….I know since I have recently become a grandmother. 

I talk to you today out of experience.  I always would look at others and want what they had.  It didn’t really matter what it was.  If I didn’t have it and it looked appealing to me, I wanted it, be it clothes, house, car, another man….it didn’t matter.

Jealousy would rage in me and I would always yell out, “Why can’t I have those things?”  I learned to control it as I got older and I was then able to keep it hidden.  I have finally been delivered from it but it took a lot of work on my part.  Occasionally I want something more (still to this day) but I am careful to take the feeling to God and explain to Him my viewpoint.  In doing this, it helps me to understand what or why I am feeling this way.

For example, my niece called me right before Christmas, telling me that her boss had a couch he was getting rid of and she suggested it for me.  I have had a loveseat for several years now (which replaced a futon) and have wanted what I call a “big girl” couch so several people could sit together without being squashed. 

The couch was brought over and had a slipcover over it that I discovered hid two tears in the front…fortunately they were for the most part on the seam.  I don’t care for slipcovers in the least so I took it off, looked at the tears, and thought to myself that it wouldn’t cost much to have it repaired.  Then I thought, “I really don’t have the money to do that right now and God might not release me to get them fixed anyway.” I thought about the couch a couple of days and thought, “Can’t I just have a new couch like other people?”  “Must I always take something that someone is getting rid of?”  But I knew this was God’s will, so I shut up and then the Holy Spirit put something on my heart as a way to fix the couch.  And, I still haven’t done it.  My heart just isn’t in it right now, so I cover up the eyesore with a throw.

Yes, that is a small instance but you can apply that to anything.  I have been in houses so big and beautiful that they seem surreal to me and then I wish for one as well.  But, I have learned while walking with God that if something isn’t supposed to be in my path, then I need to accept it and move on.  But I still stew over it (mixed in with some jealousy), and it can cloud my vision, which in turn hinders my life.  Acceptance is a big thing. 

Jealousy…  It can be the green-eyed monster and want anything from man.  But, one of the Ten Commandments requires that we not covet.  Simply put, this means wanting things that belong to others.  WE need to learn to be happy with what we have.  If we are really trying to do God's will, He is so just that He will bring things to us as long as we are being obedient.  I have spent hours telling Him why I would like to have a real home of my own, but if it is not supposed to happen, then I have to accept the fact.  NOT accepting this fact only hurts me. 

God loves us when we are humble and thank Him for what we have.  Always being jealous of what others have can become a bitter root within you and take over your thoughts.  It will have to be pulled out at some point for your own health and well-being.

Today if I see something I would like to have, it goes in my eye and right back out again.  If I have to take authority over it then I do so.  I don’t sit around and dwell on things or other women’s lives, homes and husbands.  Jealousy comes in many forms and it is deadly to you whether you walk with Christ or not.  It is

all consuming and I have seen it over take individuals to the point that it becomes a hidden force that stops them from having true peace in their heart, leading them down paths of destruction.

You have to learn to be happy with what you have.  It is all in the way you perceive it.  If you find yourself “wanting more,” perhaps this want for more was placed there by God, but then again, perhaps not.  The important issue is for you to be able to discern what His will for you is in any given situation.

If you are a single woman, want a husband, and are jealous of those who have one, then take it to God.  Maybe there is a reason He hasn’t brought you one yet.  Maybe He is getting you prepared for one.  Then again, maybe you aren’t supposed to be barking up that tree yet. 

I tell you though, God is all knowing, and if you will just go to Him and tell Him what you want, He (in His time) most likely will let you have it.  He has for me.  Everything I have asked Him for He had gotten to me.  Some things weren’t exactly like I wanted but I knew it was His will for me.  Other things were more than I thought I deserved but He thought I deserved them.  Then lastly, there are those things that are waiting to be loosed to me when God sees fit to loose them.  He has heard every request and every prayer I have ever prayed to Him and has answered them in some fashion.  I am quite certain He gets tired of me, but I would rather have His take on a situation then to try to figure it out my way.

If you are a jealous person always wanting what others have and always gripping because you don’t have, then there is a reason you don’t have.  It is time to STOP (start to pray).  Consider what you want and ask yourself why you want it.  If you feel you must have whatever it is that is consuming your thoughts, take your feelings to God and let Him help you.  Do you think He doesn’t already know? 

Jealousy?  Well, I tell you what.  God says that He is a jealous God, so if you will give your devotion solely to Him, I believe He will give His best to you…..

But, learn to be happy with what you have because until you do, I don’t think He will give you more….Satan might give it to you to try and destroy you but God won’t.

Learn to discern.

Molly            

I want to talk about a four-letter word that can not only destroy a world but can, if allowed, take root in a person, festering so much so the very nature of a human being is transformed.  And woe to those who are its recipients.

HATE- it is such a small word, yet it has such a big impact on those it touches.  It can be as forceful as a whirlwind that encompasses everything in its path, not stopping until the desired outcome is achieved, which is always in the form of destruction.

I have walked through the deep emotions of hate.  The hate, I believed, at the time was warranted (Isn’t it always?).  The feeling of hate inside of me was a bitter, bitter force that would drive me into lashing out at others in ways that were unbecoming, leaving me exhausted after each episode.  On the outside, I appeared well-dressed, coiffed and proper, but let someone wrong me and anger took over, turning me into a demonic force that shook with hatred.  I hated my life, I hated the way I acted, and I would feel great relief after it would spew out of me.

After finally surrendering my heart to Jesus, I began to learn the ways of the Lord and how to help myself.  (2 different Psychiatrists and 2 different Psychologists had never given me such help.)  I learned in spending time with the Lord that helping ME FIRST was critical to the outcome of my life.  Yes, we learn to live to serve one another as our Lord did, but if we need work, we need to focus our attention on ourselves in the beginning, allowing the Holy Spirit to help us in areas that need Him.  My hate was something that needed to be addressed.  Something told me I couldn’t love the way God wanted me to and hate at the same time.

There was one particular person God used to teach me about hate.  This was my ex-husband’s wife and stepmother to my child.  After five abortions, I had one living child and she was everything to me in my heart.  She was a wonderful child as well and I am not exaggerating.  Everyone seemed to love her (and still do to this day) except for this one person. 

Every other Friday evening my daughter would go to her dad’s house for the weekend and this was something she started doing when she was very young.  After several years my daughter needed braces, which she got, but not without a lot of arguing.  So one Friday her dad and his wife came to pick her up and they took her out to dinner.  During dinner, my daughter commented on the fact that she would like to have her teeth bleached when her braces were removed.  The reply she got was, “And who do you think is going to pay for that?”  A horrible argument followed, which brought my daughter to tears.  Her dad eventually told his wife that enough was enough and to say no more.  Several hours later the front door opened and my daughter came back in carrying her bags, her face was beat red and I knew something horrible had taken place.  I know I am talking about my daughter but objectively speaking, you couldn’t want a better friend or person in your corner….she is loving, kind and generous…. What a heart she has, so I knew if she was upset, something dreadful had occurred.

I had been trying to walk with the Lord at this time very dutifully and diligently.  I sat and listened to the story she recounted to me and the more she said, the more upset I got.  I actually thought my blood was going to boil over.  I had just learned the scripture which states, “Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.  I will repay.”  As I sat there and comforted her best that I could, I knew I couldn’t do anything before taking it to God.  This time I knew I had to handle this situation differently than I normally would have in the past if I really believed in God. 

I excused myself while she continued to talk to my mother and sister.  I went down into my little sanctuary which doubled as my bedroom and work area.  I positioned myself on the floor right in front of the couch and proceeded to spill my heart out to God over what had taken place.  I pointed my finger in the air, where I thought God was, and explained to Him very carefully that if He didn’t do something, I was going to get in my car, drive to my ex-husband’s house, ram it through the front door and then I was going to kill his wife.  Sitting before the Lord helped deflate the hate and I sat there until it was all out of me.  I stopped talking and all of a sudden as if by magic, a peace settled over me and I knew I had been heard.  Then I got up, shut up, reentered the den to nurse my daughter’s aching heart and waited on God.

I explained to my daughter, as I tucked her in bed, what had occurred with God and that we were not to tale bear about this with the family.  I explained that God would handle this and we were to behave as though literally nothing had taken place.  WE did not sit and dwell on what had happened that night.  That behavior and reaction was something I was accustomed to doing all my life.  It is like a piece of gum that loses its flavor, words get worn out, and they don’t accomplish anything in solving the situation.

Retribution for this situation or others that followed since that time did not come all at once from heaven and justice didn’t come the way I thought it would….but it did come.  By the time it came, I had been praying for this individual for some time and my heart had softened towards her.  Forgiveness was ready to break forth so I could get set free from the hate I had carried for her for several years.  But, the vengeance part….I can attest to you that when you truly have a case before the Lord God that is just, He will indeed rise up for you.  I can also tell you that you never want to be on the side of His retribution. 

I began to realize through the promptings of the Holy Spirit that an adult who lashes out at a twelve year old (in a public setting no less) is a person who is in need of Jesus themselves and the only way they can be set free of their own hell is through the divine deliverance of God. 

After months of waiting upon the Lord, I was faced with the opportunity of seeing this person one afternoon before Christmas.  She was dropping off my daughter and the Holy Spirit said, “If you want to work for Me and the Gospel, go down to the car and wish her a Merry Christmas.”  I argued with the Holy Spirit stating all the reasons I shouldn’t have to do that.  The response was always the same, with His tone becoming harsher each time I argued against doing this.  In that moment I knew I had no choice but to buck up under the authority of God and go speak to this woman who had so wronged my daughter if I wanted to work for God. 

As I opened the door, I saw my daughter look up at me from the window of the car and I knew she was scared at what I was going to do.  I got down to the end of the driveway, marched around to this woman’s side of the car and knocked on the window.  She turned around in amazement and I said, “I just wanted to wish you Merry Christmas.”  She was stunned.  My daughter was also shocked but pleased at the effort and I felt something come off me.  All the years I had hated this woman who had treated my only child as though she were less than good, melted away and I felt like a ton of bricks was lifted from my heart.  That day was a critical day for me in my walk with the Lord and my ability to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit….and to truly be set free.  

I have been privileged to see the other side of hate and I cannot stress enough that it will take courage to overcome deep feelings of hate.  Hate only breeds more hate.  Today, I have great peace knowing I did what God wanted me to.  If I had not been obedient that day and followed through, who knows if He would have allowed me to be here recounting this story to you.

I have learned about God through tangible circumstances.  I am not just pulling something out the air to talk about.  He will not just hand things to you just because you want them.  He tries to mold you into the person He would like for you to be and it takes great effort on your part.  One thing I can tell you is that if you will do your part, He will always do His part even if it is something you think He can’t do.  God is big enough for everything that comes at us but I don’t think we treat Him as if He is.

By the way, when the time came God did in fact open a door, through a friend of mine, and my daughter was able to get her teeth bleached and it was at no cost. 

To this day, I have had to intercede on my daughter’s behalf over and again due to this person (whom she doesn’t ever see).  My daughter has also learned to pray for this truly unhappy woman which helped her overcome the bad feelings she had for her.  

We all have choices to make and God will help us make the right ones even if we don’t understand why it has to be a certain way.  All of this boils down to trust in knowing God is real and ready to help deliver us all… not only for the sake of salvation but for the sake of our happiness.  The power of deliverance is supernatural but it is real.

Hate?  Today, I have no hate in my heart for anyone….thank God.

Molly            

When I came to Christ, I was full of generational curses, demons and so much hell that I felt at times like I had my own personal revolution going on inside, but I never told anyone.  I didn’t know much about the bible.  In fact, I had no clue every answer to every problem I had and would encounter was in it.  You couldn’t tell me anything like that.  Others had tried to tell me but I wouldn’t listen.  The bible had become, well, an institution in my heart and mind but it held no power for me.  How could a book hold power?  When my hard head was finally at its wit’s end I asked God to save me, and the Holy Spirit was faithful to begin to teach me how to help myself using God’s ways. 

One of the biggest things I had fought all of my life life was depression, hopelessness and for the will to go on.  Early in my walk with the Lord, I learned a scripture that actually helped me get up and move so I could function throughout each day.  Every morning I awoke depressed, having no hope due to my circumstances.  Eventually, I began to repeat this phrase every morning:  “Greater is He that is within me than he that is within this world.  Get off me Satan, in Jesus’ name!”  I would repeat those words until the funk would leave and I felt like I could get up and move forward.  On top of that, I learned that praising God lifted the spirit of heaviness that hovered on me.  (I did not know at the time that it was oppression.) 

I vividly recall a particular day in the middle of the afternoon.  I was feeling so blanketed with oppression that was so unbearably thick I couldn’t move.  All of a sudden, a thought popped into my head, “Praise God.”  I thought, “Praise God?”  I don’t want to.  I don’t feel like it.  Why would I praise God right now?  I feel like hell is coming at me.  The notion kept floating through my mind, so very, very reluctantly I knelt.  It was as if someone was pushing me to the floor, humbly positioning me and I started to lift my hands (which I still thought was funky) and I began to say, “I praise you, God.”  Over and over I went on and in about ten minutes, the oppression actually lifted.  I will never forget that day.  It was like a miracle had taken place.  In addition, a big smile came across my face and I knew that I had overcome something awful…for the time being.  Knowing I could defeat the feeling that had taunted me all of my life by praising God was a breakthrough. It was a shocker and the absolutely best thing that had ever happened to me up to that point in my walk with Christ.

I came to realize that I have not walked through my experiences that have taught me about God just for the betterment of my life.  I did this for my Father, and more importantly, I did this for YOU so you could learn how to come out of your own hell and be an overcomer.  Make no mistake about it, however.  It will take perseverance, time, and great effort on YOUR part if you want to really be a winner and defeat everything that will come against you in this life.  More importantly, you will learn more and more as you grow up into the things of God.  My warfare has changed over the years and so will yours.  Do not get the impression that you can speak some scriptures out in the air and life will be all good.  If you think that way, you are being misled.   A garment of praise will lift the spirit of heaviness and the best part about God is that He IS greater than Satan is (the one who is in the world).    

To put the icing on this cake, I have done most things this world has had to offer and I can tell you for a fact I was the one who was being misled.  If I could do it all again, I would CHOOSE to do life with Him all the way…there is nothing (sex, alcohol, drugs or money) that can take the place of Christ in you…It is a mystery but it is the greatest one of all.

Molly      

I was in prayer looking at all of the Christmas presents Jesuswithoutthejunk was giving to the less fortunate this year and memories of the past started to flood my mind.  I paused and then looked up to God and told Him that I am a Christmas miracle. 

I recall a few short years ago living in my mother’s bedroom (at my sister’s house) and only having, in terms of worldly goods, one light green stackable storage bin, a few clothes hanging in the closet and my car.  At one time, there had even been talk of me staying at the YMCA but it never came to that.  I held firm to the belief that God had a call upon my life. 

For those of you who are truly without, I want to tell you that the Christmas story of Jesus lying in a manger in Bethlehem should not be disregarded and is not just some cuddly story to be read each year on Christmas Eve.  I want to attest to you now that YOU have a deliverer on the throne that will come to you in your greatest distress and save you.  Then IF you will be obedient, He will provide tangible things to you to help you as you continue on your journey.  We don’t serve a “name it and claim it” God…He is so much more.

I have lived on my own for almost seven years now.  I stepped out in faith to rent an apartment with $600.00 to my name that someone had given to me.  I had a broom for a sweeper, slept on a $10.00 box springs and mattress from the Goodwill, washed my clothes at the laundromat and ate more oatmeal for lunch and dinner than I care to think about with the silverware that was bought for me at The Dollar Tree by a friend.  I did this with the belief that God would somehow provide for me every step of the way if I would just do what He told me (work).  At one time, I even thought about writing a “Thank You” note to the Dollar Tree for being in existence.  Today, I have furniture, I have food to eat, and things to wear that I like.  To this day I still shop The Dollar Tree but I now have comfort in my heart where great turmoil and unrest resided for most of my life. 

It is a miracle what God has done in my life and through me so that others might have hope.  This is not a silly game or joke to God.  Heaven is willing to come to you but YOU will have to turn your heart, to not a baby in manger, but to a living Savior and YOU will have to do your part.

A Christmas miracle?  To take someone who needed so much in every way thinkable (money, home, clothes, food, emotionally, physically) and turn them into a conduit for Heaven.....what a testament to God!  God bless you wherever you are this Christmas holiday and KNOW that if God can do so many miracles (and many more I haven’t mentioned) through me, just think of what He can do for you.

May the true peace of Christ rule and reign in your hearts this year and if it doesn’t right now what in the world are you waiting on?

Love,

Molly     

I want to address something different for “Real Life.”  I believe that there comes a time in each person’s life when the Holy Spirit draws a soul to the Father, not just for salvation, but for real life help.  I see both acceptance and rejection to the answers given to people regarding various issues.  I see firsthand where God tries to help get answers to a person by sending His designated agent.  Many, I believe, have missed a great deal from heaven due to judging the individual sent to them instead of being led to the truth by their spirit.      

I have been allowed tangibly to see deaf ears turned to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.  I have also seen Satan try over and again to stop any revelation knowledge from getting to an individual.  This then causes them continued sufferings instead of them receiving the truth God tried to get them about their individual circumstances.

People are in dire need of their Savior.  EVERY answer you NEED is at the foot of the Cross, but you will have to humble yourself and go there. 

I have learned that God is so much bigger than I will ever know and I have to face the fact that I cannot place Him in a box.  There are no particular formulas and/or words spoken in order to have something come to pass in my life.  God is so much more than we all know.

God is bigger than any technological advancement that we can think of or are currently designing.  He thought of all things first and then gives them to man.  There is absolutely nothing man can think of that God did not think of first.  No one will EVER be able to outsmart, outtalk, or out give Him.  Do not think for one second that you can ever fool God either.

He is bigger that any problem you have right now…He is bigger than what you know, how you think, or what you believe.  We need to do ourselves a favor by humbling ourselves at the Cross, acknowledging this, and coming to terms that this world is His, not ours.  He is orchestrating this (our world) for His outcome alone.  You have to face the fact that there is a spiritual battle going on between God and Satan and God is going to win, whether you like it or not.

WE desperately need to mature in the body….we are still babies in Christ.  How do you mature?  The bottom line is that you need to spend time in the word, learning about your Father in heaven.  Then you need to talk to God about what you are reading in the word and wait for Him to guide you.

If you are NOT constantly learning new things about God, getting deeper revelations or advancing in your life and growing up to be the adult you need to be, then something is wrong and you need to listen and reread this, because you have a Father in heaven who is trying to get something to you……are you listening?

Molly