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  A Letter to Men 
A man’s house is his castle…..isn’t it?
Matthew 10:36 “and a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.”
For some time now, the Holy Spirit has been dealing with me about writing a letter to men. Men from all walks of life have problems. They can feel like they have enemies within their own homes and this should not be.
The beginning of spring lends itself to many occasions. One of these is Father’s Day. It is several months away but it seems appropriate to address this at this time. During this day we gather around the fathers in our homes to impart to them how much we love them, how much we care for them, how much we need them…but what happens when the day is over and we wake up the next day? Will we treat them with extra special care like we did on the day that was celebrated in their honor?  There are families that "put on the dog" for Father's Day.  After the big dinner, dessert, presents, etc., the house goes back to the way it was disarray.  Why?  Isn't home supposed to be a place of refuge from the world?  Isn't the dad or father the king?  Isn't his home his castle...a place to turn to when the world gets to be too much?  Unfortunately, in today's society, homes are not a refuge from all of the bad stuff.  Sometimes anywhere but home is a place of refuge...Sometimes the so-called enemies will actually be the same family members who threw a big Father's Day celebration. 
What I am finding is that houses are out of order today…and if big mama ain’t happy, nobody is happy.   Order in the home has left our society. Men are being raised with little or no guidance and they only have society to look to, which is full of empty promises of how a man should be. But I can tell you that God is a God of order and purpose, one of which is to have the father be the HEAD of his own home.  What I have discovered, and I am a woman, is that women have taken over the role that God designed just for men to have. Until we can recapture this order, things in the home will not be set right and run as they ought to. Of course, this excludes some situations, but if there is a husband and a wife in place in the home and you are not in charge of your castle, then men, it is time for a changing of the guard.
God designed you to be the head of your home. It is God first, then YOU, then your wife and children. A lot of men today just try to keep peace in the home. I know it’s just easier that way, but that is not the best way. I was leaving a video store one day and failed to look behind me first before pulling out of my parking space. If you knew me, you would know that I try to do the right thing in any and every given situation so the hand of the Lord will be with me. I don’t want to mess up. Well, I almost ran over a man and his wife. She stood there yelling at me and I felt just awful. The man just hung his head. He looked up finally and I said, “I am so sorry.” He nodded as if accepting my apology and she just kept literally b_____ing him to death all the way into the video store. I am certain she didn’t let him forget it and I feel I was the topic of her conversation for the next several hours. I know because before I learned to live another way, I would have done the same thing. I felt so sorry for the man. He just went along like a whipped puppy. He could have said, “Honey, she apologized, she did not hurt us, now, enough already!” But that was not the case. I knew if I got out of the car and went up to her; it would have just made matters worse for him, so I left. I asked God to please help that poor man.  
Again and again God has placed me with men and women and I see and hear firsthand what is going on. Most men really just want to be happy and be loved. Of course, yes, there are exceptions. But to keep the peace they let the woman be the dominate one in the relationship. They just find it easier to let the woman rule the roost, so to speak. Then their love lives start falling apart. The women have no respect for a man if they treat him like this and the men have no respect for themselves if they let women treat them in this manner. Quite frankly, I wouldn’t want to be around a woman who wears the pants in the family…it is not very becoming. Men turn their hearts to other things and “out of order” it is. Women wonder why men have their own little places of refuge…but it does not have to be this way, men.  
We are in a society that pretends all is well on the outside, while all is not well on the inside. The head and father of every house needs to stand up and take charge. We are in very trying times and I know that at times, our spirits can feel broken and it’s just easier not to deal with it. That is a tactic of the devil. Men need to rise to their God-given authority in the home and put things that are in disarray back in order. In the days we are in, it will be critical to your homes and families.   
I wondered why the Lord only picked twelve (12) men to be His disciples. Yes, I know there were and are women who God uses mightily but why twelve men? I see and have seen firsthand that men are created differently and are stronger in ways that women are not. God expects you to be the head and not the tail of your family. You need to have the respect of your loved ones so you can lead them. 
We are in a time of choice. Stop riding the fence. Stop compromising God’s Word. I find that “anything goes” in this earth and that now is exactly why we are having trouble. Men, get in the Word and find out what God expects of you as a man…then just do it. As you put God first, everything else will fall into place. Yes, you might cause some riffs in your home but if you love your wife and your family, it will be worth the cost. No matter what you think you know your family needs you to rise up and be the man they need you to be. Don’t let your homes just drift through the one life that you have been given.
It is a call to arms for fathers and men. It is time for you to be the head, king, and leader of your home….your castle…the place where you go to get recharged so you can go back out to fight the enemy. If the enemies of your house are within, do something about it. You are called to be the head of your house just as Jesus is the Head. Put your home in order so that you may do God’s will in your life. If you won’t …..He can’t.  
If you never had a father and don’t have a role model for a father, then get on your knees right now and cry out to the Father of fathers and tell Him you don’t know what is going on in your home and in your life and that you need help in order to be the man of your home. Believe me, that simple request put into action will get the attention of THE FATHER. Just ask Him for help….don’t worry about fancy words…. I can tell you from years of experience; it’s the heart that reaches through to heaven not a bunch of fancy words.
Take charge of your castle! You take the seat as the king and see if your wife won’t come along side of you as your queen.
A man’s home really can be his castle but you are going to have to take the crown back!

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