Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
First things first…this is a really hard thing for me. In the last eleven years of my walk with the Lord Jesus, I have learned more than I ever thought I would. I look back and see that all it took really was a willing heart…first. What I got was a new heart and a new mind. What I got was upside down from what I thought I was going to get. I really didn’t know what I was going to get, but I did know that I wanted out of this yucky feeling inside of me, and I wanted to stop being defeated in my life. Well, I got all of that and so much more that it truly is unbelievable. God is more than I knew. I will never get it all while I am here….never. So I am trying to take a deep breath and relax and enjoy the ride.
When I started I wanted to go in and get what I wanted (notice all the I’s?). I wanted my life fixed. Then I wanted to go back to what I was doing and what I knew of life. I did everything in my life like that. It was a lot of self-gratification and then back to the same ‘ole way of doing life. But, those things are not the ways of the God I have come to know, love and whom I would lay my life down for. I truly have found riches untold and a world that exists that you cannot see with human eyes. But, it has been a process and a transformation of my mind, soul and yes, we are working on the body as well.
You can be whole, healed, nothing missing, and nothing broken but it starts from the inside and goes out. You will not be able to get the MORE of God quickly. It is a process. He will come in, and put out the fires in your life, and show you that He is really real. Then the rest will be up to you. What you put into it is what you are going to get out of it.
The above scripture was one of the first ones I really got in the beginning of my walk with the Lord. To really seek someone…let us bring it down to an elementary level. Remember hide and seek when you were little? Someone would go and hide while someone would count to 100. They had 100 seconds to hide. Then everyone would run and go try to find them before they could get back to home base. If they were caught, you would tag them and they would lose. Then they would be the one who had to count to 100 while you got to be the one to find the best hiding place. Simple, yet fun. Well, the God I have come to love has gotten His word to me in a simple and clear way so I could just get it. But I had to be the one who was finally "tagged" in my life and I had to be the one who would have to "seek" out God. I have had to search and search for Him. You cannot find the MORE by just investing one or two hours a week. It isn’t enough.
Deuteronomy 4:29 “But from there you will seek the LORD your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.
I had to start seeking God first thing in my day, not second, third or fifth thing in my daily activities. I cannot give God my sloppy seconds and then expect His very best. Who is it that I think I am? This not ought to be. He is GOD. We owe Him our best if we want to see His provision in our lives. So, I started putting Him first place in my life. I remember telling Him that surely, He couldn’t want me to put Him before my daughter (notice I was telling God). After all, she was the only living child I had on earth. He was the one who had heard my cry in the labor room when I begged Him to let me have this child. That was a pretty gutsy thing to do in lieu of the fact I had already had five abortions! I said, “I’ll try harder, I promise. I promise if you just let me!”________________(Fill in the blank for yourself.) Of course, once I got what I wanted, I went back to the same old pattern of living life the way I wanted and thought it should be lived. The thing about it is that I didn’t know any different. Through this site, you will come to know that there is another way. But, you will have to go after it. You will have to seek it out. I already have. I cannot do it for you. But, then you will have no excuse and how your life turns out will be up to you.
God is a God of order. He expected me to put Him before my daughter and everything else that would hinder my walk with HIM. So I did. Thank God, I did or my life would have turned out much differently today. I do not believe that I would even be here if I hadn’t taken the step to put Him first. But, it wasn’t easy. The world and all of its temptations will come at you from the right and the left, but if you will stay focused on Him, you will win in this life.
I imagined myself like a horse with blinders on. With these blinders on, I could only look one way. Those imaginary blinders helped me stay focused on God and what He wanted me to do. With the help of the Holy Spirit, you can do this. This is coming from someone who loved to do it all. I especially loved myself and what I (see all those I’s?) wanted to do. You have to start somewhere to begin to do something different if your life is a mess and your heart has a void or hole in it. Learn to ask God to help you take it one-step at a time and most importantly, one step at a time. Start there first.
Think of counting. You count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10. These are set in order for a reason. You cannot count 1, 3, 7 and 10. God wants us to learn this way of order for a reason. God wants us to learn His way of order for a reason as well. I came to the Lord later in life and was already set in my way of doing things. I was used to doing it my way. But, I learned early on that this was going to be God’s way or the highway. He did not allow me to come in, grab a few miracles and then go back to my old way of life. He loved me too much to do that. He wanted me to get my life straight and settled. It is not wham, bam, thank you God for "the fix" to my problem, see you later….much later! He wanted MORE for me.
Stop hiding from Him. Tell Him how you feel, what you need, what you are doing. Talk to Him. He is not like Spock. You cannot mind meld God. He is real and waiting for you to seek him out. You will not be able to start with two or three or four. Start at the beginning. Take a deep breath and just start. First things first, not second or third. He will take care of getting you to the ten, eleven, and twelve.