My friend and I have talked for years about being a woman.  When I say woman, that is just what I mean.  No man wants to be married to a wo "man".  A wo "man" runs the show.  She is the man in the family.  She overpowers her husband and children.  She knows it all and has done it all.  She always has the last word.

I was that person.  I took charge of every situation.  I just felt that my husband wouldn't do it the way that I wanted it done, nor would he do it when I wanted it done.  My girls always told everyone that Dad was in charge when Mom wasn't home.  I had everything planned out and done before my husband could even think about doing it.

When I found Jesus, and I mean really found Jesus, I gave it all up.  Boy, was it hard.  I would go to correct something or argue about something.  I would literally have to stop myself and leave the room.  My husband started to handle the discipline and the girls came to him when they wanted to do something.   He figured out the car pooling.  We paid the bills together.  I never knew that he liked to grocery shop or that he liked having me with him running errands.  I felt free.  Instead of carrying the load of everything on my shoulders, I was sharing it.  We started going out for breakfast and grabbing two cups of coffee to drink in the morning down by the river.

We are closer now than when we met over twenty-two years ago, and all it took was to let go and be his woman...not the Wo-Man! 

How can you forgive someone?  How can you really forgive someone?  It is an easy thing to say.  I forgive you.  There are people that say, “You must be a saint to forgive him for that!  I would not or could not EVER forgive him.  He would pay big time!”  How can you trust someone again and I mean really trust them?  How could you ever believe in them again?  Could you shut your eyes and get a good night’s sleep or would you toss and turn for the rest of your life?  These are tough questions even for a Christian.  I was standing in the shower thinking of a dream that I had last night.  I believe that it was from God.  In the dream, I was at peace about something that happened in my past.  I have really felt that I have been over it, well, pretty much over it.  It is all about going on after something happens in your life.  That something can either make you or break you.  It is totally up to you.

So, back to the standing in the shower.  Then I thought about the Ten Commandments.  Thou shall not…remember those?  When I read those, I think, well, I don’t do that stuff.  I am not a murderer, an adulterer, etc.  You never realize that we do things in our lives that are just as bad in God’s eyes.  The lying, the manipulating, the nastiness towards people, the attitude that we have, and the list goes on and on.  We can always make an excuse for our behavior.  Do you know that God sees sin as sin?  One sin is as bad as another sin.  Sin is sin.  The funny thing is that God forgives us for them.  It doesn’t matter if it is murder or taking a pen from work.  I have so many things to be forgiven for.  I repent and repent.  I believe that HE does forgive me and that is the way that I want it to be.  Forgiveness goes deeper than most people think.  You can say all day that you forgive but all women know that they never forget.  What a terrible concept.  I can be honest and say it but it is so wrong.  If you forgive, you have to put it down and leave it alone forever.  You have to put the hurt aside and forget it too.  It begins with a lot of prayer and fasting, if needed.  Remember that God is on your side.  How can God forgive you and you not forgive someone?  Take the time today to do a little inventory on yourself.  Then pray that God reveals to you what steps you need to take to clean yourself up.  Never fret.  You are not alone.