I have had a tough road to haul lately. We all have been through things. Some things are really worse than others. Though I must say, the thing that you are going through right now is the worst thing in the world to you. I stand on the Word and my prayers that things will come out ok and I believe they will come out the way God determines. I believe that God will be there for me no matter what.
I am the type of person that takes everything personally. My job, my home, my activities are very important to me. If something happens and something is said, I take it personally and I will dwell on it for what seems forever. I do not like anyone to think badly of me or to think that I would do something intentionally to hurt someone. I work hard and always give my all. What is happening to you today is as important to you as this problem is to me. I then hear about someone that recently has passed on. She was only 39. Boy, does that hit home!...I wonder if she had children. Someone is grieving today. I have a friend who is going through something big with their child. It could alter this child’s whole future forever. My sister has a mass but they think that it will be ok. She has been told to come back in a couple of weeks to see how it is. It makes me think how big and bad is my problem now?
We, as Christians, can put an end to our problems. We have a say in our lives by the way we lead them. If we take it to God and lay it out in front of Him, He will take it from us. I know and practice this but then I have a habit of dwelling on the very things I have taken to God. I lay it down and then I pick it up. I eventually give it back to Him but what a waste of time. He would have handled it if I had just let it go. We stop all of God’s work every time that we mess with what we have already given to Him. It is hard and I know this. I struggle with this and I am still struggling with my problem because I just won't let go. It is my fault, not His. I told my mother today that I am weary. My answer from God was Matthew 11:28. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” He answers when we ask but you have to listen. Why does it take so long to just listen? I have often said that I listen but can’t hear Him. I am told that I must not be listening hard enough. I also have to shut up and be quiet to listen.
I have talked to everyone who will listen to me about my problem and they all say the same thing: Pray, be steadfast and it will be ok. The bottom line is to leave it with God and He will take care of the rest. But it sure is hard to do sometimes...
Susan Gahan
